Friends?

     So I broke up with my boyfriend a week ago now, and have had so many people add me to their friends lists on facebook and myyearbook. I knew it was gonna happen, but still wasn't prepared for the number of persons that jumped at a freshly single young lady.
 

     Then, to make matters even more weird, one of our mutual friends started complimenting me and after asking what happened with me and the now ex, he asked if I had any "prospects". My jaw dropped! I figured this guy liked me, but he was friends with the ex first so I figured that, IDK, there would be a longer period of time before anyone started asking ish like that.


Not real sure how I should respond to this since me and the ex are still friends and I would feel really wrong coming around him on the arm of one of the friends we share.

More complaints

So, IDK if it's just me, but when your significant other tells you they are waiting for you the proper response is not to go "Oh, well you can go ahead and leave at any time". To me, it seems like they don't want you there with them anymore.
I hate that I keep having ish that I need to vent about but on the other hand, it makes my blog that much more interesting.

Necessities in Life

I have recently come to the realization of just how unnecessary I am in my family's lives. It's quite sad actually since there was a time that we couldn't have survived without eachother but now, there is no communication between me and the rest of them really. It saddens me greatly and hurts my heart to think that I am no longer a major part in any of my siblings lives, and not even my mothers, heck, I haven't talked to my grandmother in over a year and it seems like she just doesn't care at all.

How it should be.

One of the people that I was friends with last semester did have a point of not taking your family for granted because you never know when you are going to lose them, and I really do see now that she was so right, I didn't lose mine the same way she did, but it still hurts just as much to know that your mother and little sister that still lives at home really don't want anything to do with you and yet the sister that is grown and married is always welcomed back in the apartment. Take this summer for example, I didn't have a job over the fall and spring like I thought I would, and my mother still wouldn't let me back for 2 months while I wasn't able to live on campus, and yet anytime Double A shows up at the apartment she is greeted kindly and told she can stay the night if she wants to. My brother, J, who was supposed to have gone and lived in FL just came back one day out of the blue and was welcomed back in the house, granted he has a limited amount of time he was allowed to be there (which is long over) and yet he has been allowed to stay though he is also over 18 and jobless. She even turned his bedroom into storage which was supposed to help in getting him out and keeping us both out but apparently that only worked with me and she, I'm sure, hasn't been breathing down his neck making him get out on his own.

How it really is.

I love my friends more than they could ever know. They helped out when I was down about this, and some even took me in and gave me a place to stay. I also know that with the ones I have in mind I'm sure I'm a necessity to them and it warms part of the heart that has gone cold and hardened toward my family. Not saying I don't still love them because that would be an out right lie, They are still such a huge part of my life, just in a different way now, now I actually use them to build myself up by reminding myself that they are my family and will always love me they are just not people that I can rely on like I thought.

Some of this may sound a little jumbled but then again it is coming straight from my head and heart and both places should be labeled as disaster zones because in neither place am I completely whole.